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 Rank: Queen  Joined: 8/5/2009 Posts: 504 Location: *TEXAS*
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Birth Certificate shows that we were born. A Death Certificate shows that we died. Pictures show that we lived! Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Believe...
That just because two people argue, that
doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, that
doesn't mean they do love each other. I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
we understand that friends change. I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love. I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.. I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be. I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel. I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score. I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time. I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you
When you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had,
and what you've learned from them...and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated. I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become. I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different. I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you. I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, if
a friend cries out to you...you will find the strength to help. I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I Believe...
That you should send this to all of the people that you believe in. I just did. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything. Thank you God for all the wonderful people who help us throughout the journey of life... God Bless You!DISCLAIMER:This is my opinion & is in no way influenced by your opinion or the truth. "National Driver's License Search" http://www.license.shorturl.com/
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Rank: Queen Joined: 8/5/2009 Posts: 504 Location: *TEXAS*
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 DISCLAIMER:This is my opinion & is in no way influenced by your opinion or the truth. "National Driver's License Search" http://www.license.shorturl.com/
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 Rank: King Joined: 7/1/2008 Posts: 18,132
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Chapped lips
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That’s disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I’ve got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"
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Rank: King Joined: 7/1/2008 Posts: 18,132
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imweezie wrote:Chapped lips
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That’s disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I’ve got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!" Oop's, I just know this didn't come outta my keyboard 
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Rank: King  Joined: 8/5/2009 Posts: 1,229
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Did not snope this. Hope it's true: Enjoy!
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's too good not to pass along...........
The conversation went like this...
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter.
Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Radar: (no response .... total silence)
God bless our troops.
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Rank: Queen Joined: 8/5/2009 Posts: 504 Location: *TEXAS*
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 Random Thoughts
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going the wrong way? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch, or your phone, or make a grand arm gesture, and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the vicinity thinks you're crazy by randomly changing directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was young.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me. I will never again end a work email with the phrase "Regards."
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
How the hell do you fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry ten plastic grocery bags in each hand than make two trips to bring in my groceries.
Part of being a best friend should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say."
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's municipal league baseball team is named The Stepdads. Since none of them are actually stepdads, I asked about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said, "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies."
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and then turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, so you can wear them forever.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after tilting your chair back too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to a document that I swear I did not change.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. "I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?"
I hate when I just miss a call on the last ring ("Hello? Hello? Dammit!" , but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from a little mild Internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle. Then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three times and still not remember what time it is.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
When I found out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment stemmed from the fact that I was unaware of my condition in college.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but everyone can find and push the snooze button in under a second, eyes closed, first time, every time.
It pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind always obeys the speed limit.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout and, when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, the person who packed my order thought about it and then decided that at least four people were required to eat all that food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like you're fat just before dinner. d:^{)> DISCLAIMER:This is my opinion & is in no way influenced by your opinion or the truth. "National Driver's License Search" http://www.license.shorturl.com/
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