My worst birthday ever was my 30th. I was determined I was not going to cook dinner. I knew there would be no gift, no flowers, not even a card, because it was always that way with my husband. I knew he would stick that bayonet in and give it an extra twist with some comment like ’I was going to get you something but I decided not to’, because he always did that.



But I was determined. Even if it was just fastfood, I was going to eat out.



Well even that exploded into a major fight because my husband had planned a nice date-night dinner out, except it was not to be with me. Yeah, on my 30th birthday he had planned to leave me sitting home alone while he...



So in the midst of this big fight, he flushed his wedding ring down the toilet.



And then he did run out and leave me sitting home alone, and was really mad because the fight had made him late for his date.



What was your worst birthday ever? You don’t have to top my birthday story... That would be pretty tough to do.

Turning thirty really messed with me. I was unmarried and teaching English in a small redneck Indiana town I hated.

I got the significance of thirty and just in Loogootee, Indiana and hating it so much that my first thought every morning was how to get out of going to work. I owas on the threshold of old with nothing to show for it.

On the night of that birthday, I sat in my reasonably priced rent house and got stinking drunk.

The house was reasonably priced because even Loogootee had a slight element of civilization. I had a nice house if a bit ugly for $100 a month and no lease. I was the "new teacher" in town, and the old couple that owned the house wanted only a good p renter. I took that to heart and was, but most of the town, but for the Amish community nearby, were scummy.

Anyhow, that was a pretty lousy birthday. The next spring, the school principal asked me to resign so he didn't have to fire me. I did, as soon as I could type the letter.

I left that miserable place where kids routinely wrecked my house and car just because I tried to teach them and got hired at a college.

My fortieth birthday was a BLAST.

God is GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

MLawson:more and more I pray for you.What a tragedy!!!

I'll let you know in 11 days.. .

Did not realize that my open ended sentence could have a double meaning, so I'd best clarify.

Yes, his date was with another woman. THEIR 'joke' was that since they had the same last name, it was like they were already married. (She had divorced and was using her maiden name.)

Shortly after that night, I pointed out to him that they could be related, and they 'broke up'. I never did know if it was my comment, or if he told her the reason he was late for that date was that his wife had the gall to expect to be taken out on her 30th birthday and she wised up that he was not her idea of the ideal husband. Maybe she asked him what he got me for a birthday gift.

Why did I stay? Due to another one of his job changes, we had recently moved out-of-state and I was unemployed at the time. Had no where to run and no way to support myself, but mostly, always had that delusion that things would get better. Yes, I am still with him, and we have now been married over 30 years.

Glad to see you were able to make a better life for your and our daughter, twilightstar.

9 Days and counting.. .

Hope you have had a good birthday, nic.

No, he hasn't learned anything. What would he learn? How and why would he learn it?

I, on the other hand, have learned to put up with this and much more, because I wanted children, a family. Without him, I'd have spent the rest of my life alone. It's 'what I did for love', for the love of my babies.

I did 'leave him' three times, never for more than 5 days, and always came back. Staying in even the cheapest motel gets very expensive very quickly with no job and I had no where else to flee. Judges can sign orders all day long, but they don't sign checks.

I have preached and preached to my daughters to NEVER be financially dependent on a man, and I hope every mother does so. When a man knows that a woman can walk out at any moment, I believe he treats her better.

Here is mine. I debated on whether to share it or not. In 2003 I got a phone call from my daughter's best friend's mom. She told me that she found out my daughter was doing the self-mutiliation thing(cutting herself). Of course the friend's mom didn't know it was my birthday, nor did I tell her. My 43rd birthday was pretty much spent on beating myself up mentally- How could my smart, funny daughter feel so badly about herself that she would damage herself? Was guidance lacking on my part(I was doing the best as I could considering I was pretty much a single mom)? Was it because her dad & I were divorced? I had already told the kids we would go out to supper(certainly not feeling like it after the birthday bomb), so we took them out. Next day I called the ex, told him what was up & he came back for a visit so we could confront her together. We wound up taking her to the emergency room, some of the cuts were really bad.

After that it was up to me to check her & make sure it wasn't starting again(her dad had remarried & lived more than 6 hours away & wasn't really a lot of help since 2002). It hurt so much to have to do that & I figured it was embarrassing enough to her so I tapered off on checking. Turns out she took that as a sign I didn't care & resumed it. I took her to counseling, but it seemed she didn't really take that seriously. I have learned a little about self-mutilation on the internet, guess it's one of the modern way some kids take out the angst on themselves. She did quit, I didn't rub anything about that period of her life in. She is now a good, happy adult & I'm very proud of how she turned out.

P.S. 2 birthdays later I got a call from her school that she had been skipping school(that day & others I didn't know about). Sure glad she grew up & figured it all out! She even told me when she was expecting that "She hoped her child doesn't treat her as bad as she treated me." Best thing is, she did grow up to be the daughter I knew was in there.