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Cinderella Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Disillusionment vs. Optimisim in the Middle-Aged Woman

Corporate Kool-Aid Kills, So Profile This
Well, I feel positively violated.  No, I wish I'd been positively violated, but that's a whole 'nother subject.  I feel negatively violated.  Is there an employer out there these days that doesn't insist on profiling us like the freakin' FBI?  I've been applying for jobs online for over 8 hours today, and I'm spent, and once again, NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!!  Is it more important to be considered serious and hard-working, or friendly? Should you ask for help or figure it out yourself?  Should you get a reputation for being a big fat tattletale and turning in all your coworkers for the smallest infraction, or should you get along and be a team player?  Are there REALLY supposed to be "correct" answers to these inane questions?  I think of my son with Asperger's--these moral and ethical dilemmas would confound him no end, as there is no way to answer any of these questions as a decent human being without a hell of a lot more information.  But that's the problem--employers don't really want anyone to be a human anymore.  They just want you to be a carbon copy phony with a pencil between your teeth to keep you smiling.  My last employer actually suggested that.  They brought in one of those corporate culture nutcases to teach us how to "be." She was a witch of the first order, and I'd rather lie down in the street and let the cars drive over me than "be" anything like her.  The idiots actually adopted the phrase "drink the kool-aid," as though that was a GOOD thing.  Umm, excuse me, but that refers to people in a cult committing suicide.  (Ironic, and sad, since the previous owner of the company did--well, not the cult, but the suicide.) And as a relatively small, so-called "family" business, corporate culture doesn't really belong there, especially with the lousy wages they pay.  Their whole company has been built on the backs of serious, hardworking, AND friendly people who work for year after year for far less than they deserve, get laid off for months on end, and work often in extreme environmental conditions, with no benefits.  And if they had a bad day, according to the corporate witch expert, you, as their manager, would be required not to ask them about it, but simply to tell them to take a break and come back when their attitude has improved.  Real nice.  Hmmm, don't think I'll be getting one a them there fancy jobs--my compassion and humanity still seem to be intact, so I don't believe I'll fit the profile. Well, you know what? They don't fit my profile, either. Ah, if only my mortgage loan company gave a big fat damn.  But they're too busy drinking the killer corporate kool-aid, most likely.  If you're keeping score, it's disillusionment 2, optimism 0.  And I ate all my cookies already.........
I'm Only In It For The Cookies
So what's the point of this, you ask? Oh, you didn't?  Good for you--glad you have something better to do, I was worried.  Ok, so I'M asking.  After all, so much of what's on the internet amounts to the silent screams of one more anguished existential crisis, or worse yet, simple narcissistic jabbering. Yeah, this will be both.  I intend to ponder the utter uselessness of my existence, all the while reminding myself that I'm better than you (and you know who you are, so get outta here).  I will ask questions that no one will answer, and answer questions that no one has asked.  I will type thoughts from the deepest reaches of my soul, or just some crap off the top of my head--eh, we'll see how it goes.  Then I will push a button and "post."  And with that, I will echo the hopes and fears of a generation--will someone, anyone care? And should that happen, I may be stunned into believing for 10 seconds that something will change for the better.  But then I will come to my senses, because that's the point--there is no point.  And then I will have cookies.  You have some, too.
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