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Nearly Relevant
Nonsense, Fiction, and Miscellaneous Things

Extraterrestial
      I look up to the blackness of the night. 
      Star pinpoints look back.
      What is out there?

      Monsters? . . . mayhem? . . .  mundanity? . . .anything?
     
      Stalactites of another world, maybe.
     
      Tall inverted cones
      The ignominity of 
      being
      a tall cone.
     
      
Limb
less, muscleless, speechless.
      

     
Cone shaped.
       
      An existence;  A plethora of ignominies.
     
Stalactites, they would shift an embarrassed glance my way.     
     
      They would have been looking for . . .
       
      the wind would gust.  For a moment, an extraterrestrial dust bowl supervenes . . .

     
      immortality,
      thought it was . . .
      
      the wind would howl, . . . really.  Howl, . . .it's howling. . . .

      a place
      here, . . . there, . . .
      then occupied it.
       
      "This isn't immortality, this is just a place!"
      they would seem to say.
      They would shoot me another glance; embarrassed by the mistake.

     
Does the surrounding area have traversable ground?
      Ground which
sometimes slopes left?  Sometimes slopes right?
      Undulates?
      Is there a curve leading, eventually, to somewhere
      . . . or nowhere?
      
      Were I to roam among them,
      c
ould I trip in a ditch? 
      Then yell,
      and yell, and yell,
      and pretend I was scared
      rather than

                                          content?

     
Are they missing their discoverer?   Their Magellan.
      
      Should I volunteer?

                                       ______________________



Adageville
     Recently, I had the distinct pleasure of conversing over lunch with the distinguished blogger and bon vivant, GRSJR. Our lunch took place in Adageville.  Adageville, one town over from G's place of residence, has no permanent residents but is annually flocked to by millions of tourists each year.  The tourists are given a podium for 2 hours from which they can pronounce their own adages or recite the adages of others to various throngs.  We met at Joe's Hamburger Replications, a restaurant, in Adageville.  We enjoyed hamburgers which were something like hamburgers though not very much like hamburgers.  During our conversation G disclosed some adages to which he claimed to subscribe.
    
     "Commitment as a concept is so important." he explained. "If the road of life on which you're traveling runs off a cliff or into the local lake, you're better off driving off the cliff or into the lake rather than stopping to turn around."

     "The more self-esteem one has" said G, "the closer one comes to being taken down a peg or 2 or 3,000 and experiencing a crash of infamy instead of a glorious victory".

     "This so-called 'future' is the biggest racket ever devised in the history of  mankind."

     "A lot of people see free will as a good thing, but really it's only good within a secular lifestyle.  Within a theistic system of beliefs free will is only used in choosing a sinful  course or, after the fact, in choosing repentance."

     He revealed that, "May lightening strike me if I don't know what I'm talking about" is one of our highness's greatest insights.

     "Which highness is that.", I inquired.

     "All of 'em.", he replied.

     He ended our conversation with this brainstorm; "May lightening strike me if I don't know what I'm talking about." 
    
     As we exited the restaurant the skies to the west seemed to darken ominously.  Nothing happened, however, and I realized he knew what he was talking about. 

     We proceeded to the bus stop.  I feel certain that it was nothing more than coincidental that somebody's schnauzer, barking the entire time, chased the bus until the bus, with us on it, was out of town.
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