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Nearly Relevant
Nonsense, Fiction, and Miscellaneous Things

Customer Service Experience

The actual part as best as I can recall it.

Him:  Hello, Company EGH.

Me:  Yes, Company ABC told me to call you.  I'm trying to find a replacement part for [names small appliance].

Him:  What's the part no.?

Me:  I don't have the part no.  I have a model no.

Him:  Well,  I need a part no.   If I have a part no. I can order it.

Me:  Okay.

Him:  I can't order it without a part no.

Me:  Okay.  Well, I'll see if I can find the part no.   Thank you.

The fictive part.  In other words, the part which didn't happen but expresses how I felt about what happened.

Me, talking to myself:  Why am I supposed to have the part no.  I know it would be more convenient if I did, but isn't it their job to provide the part no. if I don't have it?

Him:   I need a part no.   I can't order it without a part no.

Me, what I'd like to say to him:  Am I supposed to do your job?

Him, becoming a wise***:   I've also got a  some accounts receivable that need to be reconciled.   Could you do that for me while I take a coffee break?

Me, becoming a wise***:  Do they give you guys coffee breaks?  It sounds like you don't even have a job from which to take a coffee break.  As a matter of fact, isn't that my coffee break your taking?  I mean, considering if I'm to provide the part no. as well as reconcile your accounts receivable.

Him:   Excuse me just a minute.   . . .  Okay, I'm back.   Sorry , I had to help the guy whose doing my monthly sales report.   He's an idiot just like you!!!!!!

We hang-up on each other.
Veteran's Day 2013
     Although veterans are veterans, I wanted this year to especially acknowledge those of the recent Iraq and Afghanistan Conflicts.
Phantom Noise , Brian Turner


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