Mr. Savim NoLie
1413 Main St. Boulevard, Suite M
Conga Bonga, Malaryia
Esteemed Sir,
As you may well know, and I have no reason to believe you don't, I have
recently come into possesion of the outrageous sum of 32 and one half
million
US Dollars. Monies which are rightfuly mine and being used to bankroll
my charitable endeavors, such as. . .well, we shouldn't worry about them
for now. Believe me, there is nothing unsavory nor nefarious about any
of this windfall. Future generations will profit from my magnanimous
charity.
The circumstances of this gravy are as follows. My
brother Vasim, a former high-raking official of the Malaryian
government, was
caught transferring government funds into his own personal account. An
account which, unbelievably, I had no access too. I had warned him that
this was an outrage; that he should not keep all of the funds for
himself. He replied, 'An outrage? Ha! What right have you to this
money? You are the outrage!'. Of course, I, understandably, punched
him in the nose and offered to take half the money. Although I could
smell the burning embers of revenge within him, he agreed to share the
money with me, wholeheartedly.
We began transferring the sum of
45 million US dollars into my account. Unfortunately, his laptop
computer crashed and I, er...we lost 7 and one half million US
dollars. We were horrified. Although, most certainly, we could afford a
new computer, we have not succeeded in obtaining one, as you well may
understand. Therefore, we require someone of good character, whom we can
trust, with a weak character,. . . I mean,. . . a working computer, to
transfer the remaining 7 and one half million US dollars into our
account.
Our research has identified you, sir, as one we can
sucker. . .er. . .trust. Your reputation precedes you. Our research
shows your character to be trusting and greedy,. . .er. . .speedy.
Please
be advised, the nature of this transaction, is entirely legitimate. Not
a stinking hair should stand straight up on my head if it weren't. So,
in order to fulfil this obligation, please send your name, bank acct.
no., and underwear size, for verification purposes, to me at the above
address. Once the transaction is complete we will transfer 3 and one
half million U. S. dollars into, what remains of your account, as
payment for services rendered.
May you have a good day and we
will be anxiously awaiting your incompetence. . .er. . .help.
Sincerly,
Vasim and Savim NoLie