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Nonsense, Fiction, and Miscellaneous Things

The Particular Hazard of Scam Email
    Several months ago, I blogged a humorous scam email entitled, "Dear Sr".  I, as had many others, had received emails suggesting I was chosen to receive somebody's inheritance money, albeit, with conditions. Or, similarly, I had won some kind of international lottery which I had never entered.
     Along with parodying such emails came a comment as to whether or not I might not have believed if these emails were truly capable of paying me 'millions' as they implied. Of course I had wondered such, and am now realizing that the reason for believing such claims was because I didn't fully understand how the scammers profited.  Yes, their mailing seemed ridiculous so i didn't believe it.  No, I wouldn't send them credit card numbers or such.  So, how would they profit?  Maybe they wouldn't and the scam wasn't a scam.

     Well, I ran across an article which, definitely, clarified the risk.

4. Nigerian scams. No longer just from Nigeria, this is one of the oldest tricks in the book. A stranger sends an e-mail asking if you'll accept an enormous sum of money—or a generous fee—for helping them with some financial transaction. The catch? There are always (many) fees or taxes that come up that you must pay.

In the case of the lottery scam:

3. Lottery scams. These scams involve a notification that you've won a lottery (usually foreign) that you never entered. The more sophisticated scammers send a bogus check with the first part of your "winnings," tell you to cash it and then send them back money for fees and/or taxes. You find out weeks later that the initial check was counterfeit, and by then your money is long gone.

Both of these quotes are from "How to Avoid the Ten Worst Internet Scams in 2008", www.eweek.com.  Here's the link:     http://www.eweek.com/c/a/IT-Management/How-to-Avoid-the-10-Worst-Internet-Scams-in-2008/

So, there is a real danger with these emails, not just a supposed danger.
Dear Sir
Mr. Savim NoLie
1413 Main St. Boulevard, Suite M
Conga Bonga, Malaryia

Esteemed Sir,

As you may well know, and I have no reason to believe you don't, I have recently come into possesion of the outrageous sum of 32 and one half million US Dollars. Monies which are rightfuly mine and being used to bankroll my charitable endeavors, such as. . .well, we shouldn't worry about them for now. Believe me, there is nothing unsavory nor nefarious about any of this windfall. Future generations will profit from my magnanimous charity.

The circumstances of this gravy are as follows. My brother Vasim, a former high-raking official of the Malaryian government, was caught transferring government funds into his own personal account.  An account which, unbelievably, I had no access too.  I had warned him that this was an outrage; that he should not keep all of the funds for himself.  He replied,  'An outrage?  Ha!  What right have you to this money?  You are the outrage!'.  Of course, I, understandably, punched him in the nose and offered to take half the money. Although I could smell the burning embers of revenge within him, he agreed to share the money with me, wholeheartedly.

We began transferring the sum of 45 million US dollars into my account.  Unfortunately, his laptop computer crashed and  I, er...we lost 7 and one half million US dollars.  We were horrified. Although, most certainly, we could afford a new computer, we have not succeeded in obtaining one, as you well may understand. Therefore, we require someone of good character, whom we can trust, with a weak character,. . . I mean,. . . a working computer, to transfer the remaining 7 and one half million US dollars into our account.

Our research has identified you, sir, as one we can sucker. . .er. . .trust. Your reputation precedes you. Our research shows your character to be trusting and greedy,. . .er. . .speedy.  

Please be advised, the nature of this transaction, is entirely legitimate. Not a stinking hair should stand straight up on my head if it weren't.  So, in order to fulfil this obligation, please send your name, bank acct. no., and underwear size, for verification purposes, to me at the above address. Once the transaction is complete we will transfer 3 and one half million U. S. dollars into, what remains of your account, as payment for services rendered.

May you have a good day and we will be anxiously awaiting your incompetence. . .er. . .help.

                                                                                                          Sincerly,

                                                                                                          Vasim and Savim NoLie

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