Another day in the life . . . seems like evil enjoys jumping me from behind whenever things seem to start getting better, then kicking me when I'm down. Always, on a daily basis my faith is being tested . . . especially when the Lord answers my prayers in a way that brings me instant joy and feelings of being loved.
For example: I have been having car issues that were steadily worsening since 2008 - I had a 2000 Chevy Prizm, and after getting bad gas at a Union 76 station I had to replace the fuel injectors, which cost $500 at the time. The car began having issues after that and when I finally saved up enough money to take it to a mechanic I was told that this car was a limited edition model and has a computer brain that refuses to update when new parts are installed - even if they are dealer parts (probably why they stopped making that model after just a year). My option was to either come up with $1000 for a replacement brain (which would eventually have the same issue), or sell the car for parts. I tried desparately to save money to fix this car, but every time I got close I was suddenly assaulted with mini crisis that required me to use all the money saved. Some of the crisis involved my mother's serious health battle with COPD from smoking.
If I sold the car then I would have no way to get back and forth to necessary doctor appts etc. so I drove it until last year when it became undrivable. I prayed for a replacement car, specifying that I didn't care if it was a beater as long as it was free and dependable. As is God's way when I pray with a pure heart concerning true needs . . . He put it in the heart of an ex employer, who as providence would have it, was planning on selling an old beater that had recently been in an accident but was still street legal to drive. I had mentioned my situation and he donated the car to me so that all I had to pay was title and tab transfer fees. The main issue with the car was that it leaked a little oil and water "mysteriously" kept getting into the trunk. What a blessing! My heart was over flowing with joy.
My plan was to sell the Prizm cheap and use the money to fix up the donor car, which was a 1989 Toyota Camry 5 speed (gotta respect the Toyota for endurance!) It was a V6 and ran great with good gas mileage. I managed to sell the Prizm, and got a windfall of an unexpected refund of a large amount, but before I could use the money for the Camry I was pummeled with health issues of my own so again had to use the money saved. This was last year in 2010. In the last month the Camry had become a mold hazard for me, and being highly allergic to mold it was difficult to drive it without wearing a protective mask. It was also beginning to have start up issues and I was worried I might be stranded somewhere with no way home.
My credit score isn't bad, but because I am low income on disability banks don't think I am a good risk for auto loans. My friend drove me around to different dealerships in the hopes of finding one who does their own financing . . . no luck. Again I prayed with a pure heart of true need, and again the Lord heard my plea and responded within two weeks (I'm curious as to why the two week intervals. . . .). As I sat at my old sewing machine mending clothes that I hoped would last another year, I broke into sudden torrential tears and heavy sobbing . . . feeling overwhelmed (other issues besides the car were taking place at this time) and lost. I prayed again for the Lord to intervene because I live out in the country - 5 miles from the nearest bus (not that I can ride them due to perfume allergies) I have serious health issues and need to see at least one doctor 1-2 times per month. As I pour my heart into my prayer a commercial came on the tv that spoke directly to me! The voice said "If you've been turned down by everyone else for a car loan then fear not, contact us at Pierre Money Mart. I promptly thanked the Lord for speaking to me in ways He knows I understand, and then I made the call.
I spoke with a pleasant sounding woman named Megan, and explained my plight - emphasizing that I had absolutely no down payment but had a beater for trade in if they wanted it. She said "come on in, we've helped people in worse situations than yours." I was flooded with relief and joy, and spent the day praising the love of our Lord. My appointment was a week away on a Saturday, and although they are located in Seattle I was willing to make the 2 hour drive if it meant I would be coming home with a new car. They were really busy that day, and I had come down with a severe virus that would have rather stayed in bed with, but they were very helpful and compassionate - great people to do business with.
My friend and I ended up having to wait 6 hours for the entire process while they found the right financier to negotiate a workable deal for me (and they had many other customers to deal with in between time) but finally an agreement was achieved! I drove home in the newest car I had ever owned and it was so relaxing not to have to worry about breaking down right away. I didn't drive it for several days after that because I was recuperating from the virus. When I did go out intending to drive into town to pick up my necessary prescriptions I was shocked to find a pool of water on the front passenger floor!! Literally 2-3 inches deep (it had been raining heavily all night), but no evidence of a visible leak. I had to drive like that the 20 mins into town while the water sloshed around. And when I got home I immediately emailed Pierre Money Mart to ask what they were going to do about it. They said bring it in and we'll figure it out and fix it free - great guys. Again the kick me when I'm down part - my employer (part time nanny two days a week) informs me that she may have to let me go due to their current child custody battle. My heart sunk and she cried as she explained the situation. See, I would have waited to by a new car until after they settled their custody issues but she had assured me that my job was safe and they would need me for at least 5 more years.
She had promised that I didn't have to worry about losing my job, especially if she got full custody. So I trusted her words and bought the car. Then the court asked me to get involved as the main child care provider and write an unbiased statement about each parents interaction with the baby. I kept it as neutral an un-opinionated as possible so as not to be hurtful to either parent. The mother got full custody, and the father blamed me even though I didn't say anything negative about him. So now he is throwing a fit and insisting that the mother give me a two week notice. She is refusing for the time being, and her attorney said that most likely the judge won't allow the father that control . . . but advised her to look into other childcare options just in case. So now I'm faced with the possibility of having large car payments, which I incurred based solely on her promise of job security, but no job to pay for the car. I pray daily for the Lord to provide me with another job right away if this one ends, and even though He always provides as He sees fit to best serve His needs . . . I am human and cannot help but have fear of the unknown.
I have also been inflicted with another bout of serious health issues to add to the pile of burdens, so my emotional state is not as well as it could be right now. I'm trying not to have a pity party while expressing my frustration - seems the simple act of just writing down the frustrations helps to alleviate some of the emotional burden and lighten the load. Some times I feel a kindred spirit to the Job of scripture, and Satan is being allowed to test my faith in a variety of ways . . . but I will not lose faith unto death as long as the Lord is with me. Our Lord has blessed me with so much and I am forever grateful that all my basic needs are given on a daily basis - God is my inspiration and Jesus my savior - Amen!
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