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Look carefully...at the seemingly small moments...in the constant shaping of souls.- Neal A.Maxwell

lesson learned
My final final is over and I come away from the quarter better educated, academically and personally. I have always loved school. It was always my plan to go back "when the kids are older." J is 22, C is 17 and B is 13 - "older enough" I thought. I learned I was wrong - at least for the school I am currently attending where upper division classes are mostly offered afternoons and evenings. This past quarter I was not home Mondays and Fridays when B came home from school. I was home, but tutoring math, when he came home Wednesdays and Thursdays. I would greet him and then go back to my math student. I could, and did, easily justify my schedule. One evening in my Monday class the professor said something about one of the most important things for a child is the expression s/he is greeted with upon coming home. My heart was pricked a little, but then I re-justified my schedule. "This is the only time this class is offered and it is a class I need." "I try not to do homework when the kids are home." "I stop what I am doing when the kids need me." "The kids I am tutoring need the help," and for some reason in my mind the fact that I don't charge for tutoring made the scheduling okay. The justifications were many and broad. When I looked past my reasonings and really looked at my 13 year old son, I saw the sadness he was trying to hold in. I knew my justifications were just that - justifications. It was time I reassess my priorities. I had a conversation with God. I know that if I want a good look into my heart He is the one to ask - He knows, much better than I what is truth. I had a conversation with my husband - my choices affect him as much as they affect me. I had a conversation with my sweet, hurting son. No school this summer. One class this Fall, if I am home before the boys' school is out. Tutoring after-school-hours no more than two hours a day, two days a week (B recognizes the need). I am happy with the plan. My husband is happy with the plan. B is happy with the plan. I have always loved school. It is my plan to go back...when the kids are older.
Little Engineer
I helped in our church nursery today. A little two year old girl had silent tears running down her cheeks. I went over and put her in my lap. While she was there a little one year old boy brought me one of the old fashioned Fisher Price toys that has the animals that pop up when you press a button or turn a wheel or pull a lever or flip a switch. One of the things wouldn’t pop up and the boy wanted me to help him. I tried the switch a couple times. I tried loosening the thing that should pop up with my fingers. I tried tapping the toy while it was turned upside down. Nothing. I told the boy, “I guess it’s broken.” After he left the little girl started playing with the toy. She flipped the switch and up popped the farmer – first try. She played with it for about five minutes. All but once the farmer popped up on her first try. The one time it didn’t she tried a couple of times, flipped it over, looked at the back, flipped it back over, tried the switch and up popped the farmer. The girl became interested in a different toy and a three year old boy took the Fisher Price one. He couldn’t make the farmer pop up. He brought it to me. I couldn’t make the farmer pop up. I told the boy that the girl could. He handed it to her, she flipped the switch and up popped the farmer - first try.
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